True Cupcake Carnage of the Gross Variety

Q: How can you not love a cupcake?

Not only are they delicious, but they are a sweet endearment for the romantical-type. A yummy cupcake can even brighten a crummy (pun intended) day. Pull out a plate of cupcakes at a meeting and the whole mood lightens up. Cupcakes are awesome, they are the perfect little celebration cake. I couldn’t be more thrilled about the uprising of the yummy cupcake as of late—even though the prices are through the roof!

My favorite cupcake shop in town is Crave Cupcakes. I love their White Chocolate Macadamia Nut cupcake and can’t wait to try their carrot cake next. Unfortunately for me, the shop is minutes away from my office, and while I haven’t been tempted in the past, there’s a very nice new guy here who goes on Friday cupcake runs and walks around the office taking orders! He’s only done it once so far, but from what he said, it sounded like he likes to do it every once in a while. Oh, no! A cupcake dealer! I made a pact with one of my coworkers (the officle across the “street”) that we would only order one cupcake between us when the dealer comes peddling his wares. Anyhoo, back to the topic at hand: the corruption of the beloved icon...

A: Meet the Meatloaf Bakery.

I could never believe that cupcakes could go to the dark side if I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes…on the internet, that is. Are you ready for this? Behold the meatloaf cupcake. I can’t imagine that enough people would buy a meatloaf cupcake to keep a place in business and I certainly can’t imagine anyone eating one. I think the ideal way to serve personal-size meatloaf would be to use small bread pans; at least they would resemble the original meatloaf size. But, no. These brilliant folks offer several portion sizes: cake, pie, loaf, loafie, cupcake, tart, or you can order a “flight” of 3 loafies in case you can’t decide which specimen to experience.

The Meatloaf Cupcake masters have found a way to fool your senses into thinking they are enjoying a decadent dessert when in fact, they are actually eating EL LOAFO DEL FUEGO, “A robust mix of ground pork with hot chorizo, green olives, hot peppers, almonds, garlic and a touch of sherry. Topped with Garlic Spuds and served with sherry-mushroom sauce.” Right. Who are they kidding? I don’t know what’s worse, the names of these carne concoctions (Lamb-A-Licious, No Buns About It Burger Loaf, Herby Turkey Loaf to name a few) or the “icing” they top it off with. I’m thinking the “A Wing And A Prayer Loaf” isn’t exactly the most brilliant name of a dish, then again maybe it’s perfect. You probably need a wing and a prayer to keep that stuff down.