Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Emma Tales: Chapter III

Emma Pillsbury: Noble Nightingale

Chapter III
Will Has the Polka Dots

The Polka Dot Challenge

Yikes! Will missed school! He caught the icky polka dots (that's chicken pox to the Pillsburys) from none other than ridiculous Rachel getting all up in his grill (don’t stand so, don’t stand so). After spraying Rachel down with Vanilla and Blossoms Lysol Spray (disinfecting can be pretty), waiting 15 minutes and repeating, Emma decides to help Will get his groove back. So, she packs her favorite train case with all the necessary polka dot fighting items: calamine lotion, rubbing alcohol and cotton balls; gently suggestive reading materials; a stethoscope for looking at, I mean listening to, Will’s chest; some mittens to keep him from scratching the dots on his dimples; and his favorite ice cream treat, Dippin' Dots.

She arrives at his house ready to take care of Mr. McGleemy when, what the cardi clips, Scary Terri opens the door! Terri says she knows how to take care of Will best. Oh really, Fake Preggers McPreggerson? Where were you when he almost forgot to Purel (it’s a verb now) after he used the public-use pencils in the teachers’ lounge? Who stood up to Sue when the performance-fleece-wearing cheerio sponsor dissed Will’s totally adorable houndstooth vest? Emmalicious, that’s who. "It's true, Emma," Will confesses, "she does know how to take care of me best." WTC!!!! Hold the phone! Did that just happen?!

Suddenly, they hear calliope music coming down the street. Is it the ice cream man? What kind of ice cream truck plays ABBA? Like a flash mob, the New Directions flood the street in matching white jumpers doing a mash-up to Waterloo. It’s fabulous! Will jumps in, then Terri, then Sue, then Kin and Figgins, but Emma doesn’t know the steps! They’re dancing around her, bumping her from every side. She falls to the floor and opens her eyes. She’s sprawled on her office floor! She fell asleep at her desk! Whew! No more popsicles at lunchtime! The End.

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